Which is Far Too Full of Sneezes
by YesIEatQuiche
Summary: Howl is sick and floating about the castle! Just another day in the moving castle, really. Drabble nothingness, verging on crack - let me know if you find the plot.


**Summary: **Howl is sick and floating about the castle! Just another day in the moving castle, really. Drabble nothingness, verging on crack - let me know if you find the plot.

**A/N:** It's times like these when I question what I'm doing with my life.

**Disclaimer:** Yeah…Diana Wynne Jones is above stuff like this.

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Which is Far Too Full of Sneezes

"AH-CHOO!"

Howl's sneeze reverberated through the moving castle.

Unable to move much with his covers weighing down on him, he conjured a handkerchief with a flick of the wrist. He dabbed his nose daintily with the hyacinth-scented, plum-colored-silk-lined-with-eyelet-lace handkerchief before tossing it in the mountain of tissues on his floor. He amused himself with magicking the air to carry the handkerchief to the top of the grotesque pile. God he was bored.

"Sophieeee," he whined into his pillow. Receiving no response, he mumbled her name again for good measure. Nothing. Bother that woman, Howl would just find her.

Getting out of bed posed a difficulty. His head throbbed and felt so heavy he was convinced if any attempts to stand up were made, he would promptly collapse from the weight of it all.

_No matter, I'll float down. _

Howl gracefully rose out from under his covers, clad only in loose pajama bottoms (he couldn't get any of his germs on his _nice_ clothes, now could he?). After several unwelcome encounters with the castle walls, he was finally drifting down the stairs.

"AH-CHOOO!"

The sneeze propelled him down the remainder of the stairs, as well as conveniently alerted everyone to his presence.

"Howl!" _Sophie's voice_, Howl dimly registered, grinning like a fool. "Howl I told you to stay in your room! You're in no fit state to –"

"Sophieeeeeee!" Howl flying across the room toward her. "I found you!"

Sophie deftly dodged Howl, and he smashed into the workbench, causing several jars to rattle.

Sophie winced, and Calcifer cackled.

"How come we haven't given him this medication until now?" Calcifer demanded, still laughing.

"Well he – " Sophie heaved Howl off the workbench, " – has never been –" she dragged him over to the chair, " – this sick –" Sophie forced him into the seat, " – before." She sighed, simultaneously wondering when she'd get her loveable slither-outer back and whether it would be rude if she dashed upstairs to find a shirt for Howl before anything…happened.

"Well I'm going to pray he gets these Wizarding Wheezes more often!" Calcifer could barely contain his mirth.

"Stop calling it that Cal – it's just his allergies," Sophie huffed. That was the last time she was using _those_ flowers in the shop.

"AH-AH…"

Calcifer and Sophie exchanged glances.

"CHOOOOOO!"

Howl shot five feet into the air; wind rushed through the chamber like a tornado, upheaving stools and sending magick tomes flying. Calcifer crouched back in his hearth for fear of blowing out. Sophie grabbed Howl's foot and brought him back to the ground before he could do any more damage.

"Oh Sophieee, I know you were thinking of me!" Howl proclaimed to the heavens. Once he was out of the air, Howl latched on to Sophie with delight.

"What was that?" Sophie asked, knowing perfectly well what he had said, and cursing herself for not finding a spare shirt for him when she had the chance.

"Don't you know Miss Nosey? Whenever somebody sneezes, it means somebody is thinking of them! Thank you Sophieee!" Howl was elated.

"And how would you know that?" Sophie demanded, wondering how she was going to get Howl back upstairs.

"I'm Japanese, silly! It's _cul-tur-al_."

Sophie rolled her eyes.

"You're Welsh, Howell."

Howl considered this point.

"I could be Japanese," he posited, frowning.

"And you _could_ be drunk," cackled Calcifer from the hearth, dissolving into fits of fire-spitting laughter.

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**A/N:** This was for my own amusement, hopefully you were somewhat amused too or this was rather pointless.

For those who don't know, there is a Japanese superstition that says if you sneeze someone is talking about you ^^


End file.
